Self Reflection

I'm not a very passive person. When there is a problem I want to solve it, when something is broken I want to fix it. And there is probably some reason or some major event in my childhood that caused me to be this way but I am who I am. Continuing on I never liked the phrase " let things come to you". You don't follow your dreams you chase after them. If you want something you work for it, if you want to change you make it. Very strong statements that I fully and completely agree with but I am learning it doesn't have to be this way all the time. Now I am not or I am not completely obsessive in my frame of thinking. I don't need to fix every problem, answer every question. I think I am the way I am because I like the feeling of completeness. I don't like the feeling of not knowing why or how. But as uncomfortable as it make me feel I am learning that it is okay to be in this sort of state of wonder, and to let the unanswered questions resonate within me until I slowly find the answer. I think this was one of those lessons that God has been trying to teach me. Unfortunately, not everything is received on the first try. But I'm learning to simply say " it's okay." It's okay to let things be how they are, it's okay if things don't go the way I want them to, it's okay if I can't do anything right away because maybe someday I will. It's okay to make mistakes even though i don't like the feeling of knowing I did something wrong. It's okay to take a risk, because no matter what happens I know how to recover. and most importantly IT'S OKAY TO LET MYSELF BE VULNERABLE. I recently was shown a TED talk at a conference I went to and how a women did a study and that showed that happiest people are ones that are with being vulnerable. I'm not okay with it, but i'm learning to be. Not to worry about what will happen and focus on what is happening. I'm happy now even if it causes me pain later. And it's okay to be that there are many things i am not. Because who I am is good enough. ( it is a work in progress, I say it so that one day I will believe it.)