Me Confessions

I'm not patient. In fact, I hate waiting and I hate being passive. I feel that is I'm waiting, I'm not doing and nothing will happen. As a result I'm very active and impatience. I jump on things right away, I am anxious and often restless. One advantage my impatience brings me is that I take initiative and I get things done. But I'm challenged, my heart is torn and my mind is rattled because I believe that life is telling me to wait. But I don't know if I know how to. I keep busy so I don't have to wait. I compartmentalize so I don't have to feel the anxiety of waiting. I want to see, I want to go, I want to tell you how I feel, because we are not promised in second or minute.And waiting for things to just happen or to unfold seems like a waste, that I'm teasing fate. But what if I were to create inside of me a force that is more powerful then my impatience? What if I just believed that things will work out, and when it comes my time to act I'll know it. I can't control everything I have to accept that. But I can control to aspects how i feel and what I do. I hate waiting because I feel like loosing. But when you dug out the dirt, planted the seed, watered it, all you can do it wait for it to grow.