Okay so I’m going do the girl thing and blog about my feelings because I need to get these ridiculous emotions out and come to some kind of rational thought to make everything okay, or at least make everything make sense. A lot of things in my life have been going on my way. And I’ve worked so hard for things in my life, and I have achieved goals and I’m working hard to achieve my new goals. And even though there is so much I want to do with my life, I am very fortunate to me able to be doing the things in life that I love. And dare I believe that I can do something great. That I can climb the mountains of my dreams. And very have been moments in my life and people that have made me very happy, and who have helped me love who I am, which use to be a difficult task for me. But lately I’ve been feeling so out place, and out of touch with certain things and certain people in my life. I guess I just want to fit in somewhere, with people and I don’t. My best friends are great, because I know no matter what if I need them, they will always be there for me, and they have never let me down. But I feel so lost with certain things in my life. And I feel so out of touch, and it’s gotten to a point where this feelings of loneliness and confusion started to hurt. I guess I wanted more in certain situations where I know I can’t get more from.
And there are certain things in my past that I miss sooooo much,. But I guess I nee to realize that it’s okay not to have those things in my life. Because maybe if I keep expecting something, that thing may never happen. Maybe I should expect less. And maybe I should be happy with the way things are. And now that things take time. And that if the old good things aren’t in my life then maybe that mean new better things will happen. So I guess I will try to just accept things they way they are, even if they aren’t exactly the way I want them to be, even if they make me a little sad.. I guess when you plant seeds you can’t always expect them to grow. You just plant them and hope for the best, and accept what the outcome is. I don’t know I’m starting to think I’m sounding to passive. But I guess being passive isn’t always a bad thing. Except when I need/should speak up and I don’t. I guess what I need to do is relax. Accept things the way they are. Plant my seeds, water them if I may and love, or just appreciate whatever grows, or doesn’t grow.
Ps. I’ve come to realize that I’ve gotten use to things being a certain way, so when they aren’t that way any more, it frustrates me, because there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Sometimes what you see is what you get. I hate that
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