inferior

" no one can make you feel inferior with out your consent" said Eleanor Roosevelt. And although i live by these words, sometimes they are hard to believe.
but sometimes, most of the time, a lot of the time, i feel so out of place. I mean don't get me wrong there are many times, where i love the place i'm at and the people i am around, and there are times where i do feel like i belong. but sometimes i feel like " one of these things is not like the other" an i'm one of those things. and I
know i'm suppose to feel empowered by being different, and not following the crowd, thinking outside of the box, wanting to do different things. But sometimes i really feel like being different bites me in the ass. I feel like i'm soo restricted sometimes. Of what i want to do, what i want to say, how i feel. and then i'm constantly jumping back and forth from being responsible kiersten, and letting loose an playing by everyone else rules. But i guess i should only be playing by my rules, and there is nothing wrong with that. I have this need for adventure, but i feel like adventure is running away from me and i can never quite catch up.
i guess maybe i shouldn't care. maybe i should just do what i want, say what i want, and let everyone else do with it. accept if they want. i just know that there is so much more out there for me. Guess i should keep trying until i get there. but i secretly hate the idea of trying. Why can't you just get it on the 2nd or third try, why is trying such a repetitive act. but i guess if everyone thought that we we wouldn't have a lot of the things we have to today. maybe that is where greatness comes from, from trying and NEVER giving up.